INTERIOR: a hidden underground science lab. Extremely big and impressive computers cover the walls, and a chalk board has lots of math notes on it, including the word “TIME?” circled thrice.
In the center of the room is PETER, his muscular arms folded in front of his muscular chest, and a cool smile on his handsome face. Next to him is an insane loser nerd named MIKE.
PETER
Mike, ask yourself: what is the saddest thing that has ever happened?
MIKE (sweatily)
Why, that’s obvious Mr. Peter - it’s when Pete Davidson’s dad ate shit and died on 9/11!
PETER
What if we could make it so that that never happened, and Pete Davidson and his dad were still alive, today, having fun in their back yard?
MIKE (chuckling sweatily)
Now THAT’S impossible. You would need a time machine!
PETER
It’s not impossible...
PETER pulls a big sheet off a large spherical object with a latch handle and a glass window
PETER
I’ve BUILT one!
MIKE’S glasses fall off and break because they’re poorly made
MIKE
Peter you’ve done in again! You truly are a genius!
PETER opens the handle and gets into the time machine. He punches in the date SEPTEMBER 11, 2001 and the location WORLD TRADE CENTER.
PETER
Wish me luck - not that I’ll need it! [wearing sunglasses]
The TIME MACHINE glows and then zaps into spacetime, which looks like Space Mountain at Disney. Suddenly it appears in downtown Manhattan on 9/11/2001, right in front of PETE DAVIDSON’S DAD who is running straight toward the burning towers.
PETER
Hey! Pete Davidson’s dad! If you go into the building you’ll die.
PETE DAVIDSON’S DAD
That would make my son sad!
PETER
Quick - get in here, I can save you.
PETE DAVIDSON’S DAD gets into the time machine and sits on PETER’S LAP. PETER punches in DATE: FEBRUARY 26TH 1993 LOCATION: UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE BELOW THE WORLD TRADE CENTER
PETER
Okay Mr. Davidson, you should be safe here
A UREA NITRATE-HYDROGEN GAS ENHANCED DEVICE planted by the terrorist EYAD ISMOIL explodes, killing PETE DAVIDSON’S DAD instantly.
PETER
Fuck!